Turnabout is Fair Play II

by Kieran Healy on February 14, 2006

Accidents happen. But the various responses (official and unofficial) being put forth on Cheney’s behalf get ever more weird. They include: (1) Whittington didn’t get a shotgun blast in the face, he was merely “peppered”:http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/13/AR2006021300452.html with a “pellet gun”:http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/007677.php. (2) Cheney has “paid his seven bucks”:http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2006_02/008219.php. (This seems to be the only official response from the Vice President’s office so far.) (3) No need for a statement from Cheney saying he feels terrible about what happened, because Whittington has already accepted responsibility for the accident. It was totally his fault. (4) Besides, why should “anyone have been interested”:http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2006/02/mcclellan_grill.html that the Vice President of the United States shot someone in the face? I mean, (5) “People get shot in the face all the time”:http://powerlineblog.com/archives/013138.php while out hunting, and you’d know it if you weren’t a liberal, east-coast, latte-drinking effete snob.

Prize for most bizarre exculpatory counterfactual goes to (6) “If Cheney had been trout fishing and a companion had walked behind him as he started to cast, so that “he inadvertently snagged his friend”:http://tbogg.blogspot.com/2006/02/warning-innate-ignorance-ahead-least.html, resulting in a hospital visit, would we have seen this kind of frenzy? I don’t think so.” The counterfactual _I_ have in mind is a bit more relevant: what if it were Whittington who had shot– er, sprayed — _Cheney_ in the face, in an otherwise identical fashion? How would things be playing out amongst the VP’s defenders? Would they be blaming him for being stupid enough to walk into a hail of shotgun pellets? Do you think we’d have seen no more than a quick photo of Whittington “skulking back home”:http://majikthise.typepad.com/majikthise_/2006/02/still_more_ques.html, with no word of apology or expression of embarrassed regret? Do you think Cheney would be accepting responsibility for the accident from his ICU bed?

{ 30 comments }

1

Brendan 02.14.06 at 12:44 pm

From Powerline:

‘knowing what I think I know about Cheney, there is no one in North America who I’d rather hunt with.’

Really? No one at all? Not even someone who, for example, knows something about hunting? Or who doesn’t shoot people?

What is it about the tendency of the American right to actually worship their leaders, and grant them quasi-divine status? As a Britisher it all strikes me as very strange. Some people over here might like David Cameron, but few people, I think, would come out with the Bush and Dick worship we see from the States. Certainly if he like, you know, shot someone eyebrows would be raised (or blown off).

2

C.J.Colucci 02.14.06 at 12:50 pm

Or suppose he drove off a bridge?

3

MQ 02.14.06 at 1:07 pm

Hey, from what I know about Cheney there’s no one I’d rather hunt with either. THINK OF THE ACCESS, THE GOVERNMENT CONTRACTS!

4

theCoach 02.14.06 at 1:11 pm

If Cheney were shot in the face, how long would it have taken for that news to come out?

When would they have an official response?

5

abb1 02.14.06 at 1:23 pm

Didn’t Mr. Bush run over a Scottish cop a few months ago? These guys are like a couple of comic characters.

6

Barry Freed 02.14.06 at 1:24 pm

If Cheney had been trout fishing and a companion had walked behind him as he started to cast, so that he inadvertently snagged his friend, resulting in a hospital visit, would we have seen this kind of frenzy? I don’t think so.”

Oh, I like that, why not try some more variations on this theme…

If Cheney had been playing knock hockey….

If Cheney had been playing foosball…

If Cheney had been playing house…

If Cheney had been jumping rope (Double-Dutch stylee, natch)…

If Cheney had been playing patty cakes…

If Cheney had been playing Charades…

The various circumstances and injuries inflicted on the VP’S playmates with regard to these possible scenarios are left as an imaginative excercise for the reader.

7

P O'Neill 02.14.06 at 1:24 pm

The scummiest response is from Malkin, who links the delay in notification to an alleged delay in notification from the Vince Foster suicide. If she wants countless WSJ “Who is Harry Whittington” editorials, then bring it on, I suppose.

8

Barry Freed 02.14.06 at 1:28 pm

Thanks a lot p o’neill, I just threw up in my mouth a little…

9

eweininger 02.14.06 at 2:11 pm

Hunter Shot by Cheney Suffered Minor Heart Attack

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: February 14, 2006

Filed at 1:51 p.m. ET

10

nolo 02.14.06 at 2:28 pm

The AP story is just waaaaay too interesting. They decided to leave some of the birdshot in Whittington’s skin rather than dig it out, but then the birdshot that was “in his skin” traveled to his heart? Are there any doctors in the house who can discuss the plausibility of this scenario?

11

jet 02.14.06 at 2:35 pm

Accidents happen.

Thanks Kieran. It isn’t the fact that Cheney shot someone while bird hunting, but the strange attempt at deflecting the media attention that is a major story.

12

jet 02.14.06 at 2:42 pm

A Texas Parks and Wildlife Department report issued Monday said Whittington was retrieving a downed bird and stepped out of the hunting line he was sharing with Cheney. “Another covey was flushed and Cheney swung on a bird and fired, striking Whittington in the face, neck and chest at approximately 30 yards,” the report said.

Never mind, Cheney shouldn’t be allowed to hunt anymore. When a hunter goes to retrieve a bird, you aren’t supposed to shoot, DUH!

13

Ron F 02.14.06 at 2:56 pm

Yup, thanks for the round-up Kieran. Great stuff.

Brendan asks –

What is it about the tendency of the American right to actually worship their leaders, and grant them quasi-divine status?

As someone pointed out here recently, it’s like a hunger for totalitarianism, no doubt aided by the bedwetters actually believing the fear mongering of the Bush administration. And don’t forget, the “War on Terror” actually started under Ronald Reagan, another master at conjuring up fear of the other, and there’s nothing quasi about his divinity among the U.S. right.

14

null and void 02.14.06 at 3:25 pm

In the grand old days of the Nixon Administration, one only had to worry about becoming Spiro T. Agnew’s doubles partner for afternoon.

15

Ann 02.14.06 at 3:35 pm

Like they say, I’d rather hunt with Cheney than ride with Kennedy.

16

null and void 02.14.06 at 3:43 pm

Riding with Kennedy is great fun…swimming with Kennedy is problematic…

17

null and void 02.14.06 at 3:46 pm

I think we need to get Scalia and Thomas back out there hunting with the Chainsaw.

18

Seth Finkelstein 02.14.06 at 4:27 pm

Talk about “Shoot first and ask questions later”!

Who would have thought he’d take the maxim so literally?

19

ben alpers 02.14.06 at 4:38 pm

Looks like they’d better print up those “More People Have Died Driving with Ted Kennedy than Hunting with Dick Cheney” bumper stickers quick, because pretty soon it might not be true.

20

MQ 02.14.06 at 4:46 pm

I wonder if Cheney was drunk when he did it? Would account for the weird cover-up feel to the whole thing…

21

abb1 02.14.06 at 5:14 pm

Everyone assumes that the reason for delaying release of information was to let Mr. Cheney to sober up; in fact the reason could be to wait and see if the guy survives the incident. A spin for “Cheney shot and killed Mr. Whittington” would be totally different than for “Cheney sprayed Mr. Whittington with pellets”.

22

Rob 02.14.06 at 5:26 pm

Keep in mind, any other type of game and chances are Mr. Whittington never makes it out of the field.

23

Jesurgislac 02.14.06 at 5:32 pm

abb1: Didn’t Mr. Bush run over a Scottish cop a few months ago?

Yes – and damaged the man’s ankle ligaments. The cop was off work for 14 weeks recovering. The cop had to be taken to hospital, the bike was too severely damaged to ride again, but Bush suffered only scrapes and minor bruises.

24

PT 02.14.06 at 5:33 pm

25

Barry Freed 02.14.06 at 5:54 pm

but Bush suffered only scrapes and minor bruises.

That seems to happen whenever Bush gets near a “bike.”

26

Barry 02.14.06 at 9:54 pm

Posted by abb1: “Everyone assumes that the reason for delaying release of information was to let Mr. Cheney to sober up; in fact the reason could be to wait and see if the guy survives the incident. A spin for “Cheney shot and killed Mr. Whittington” would be totally different than for “Cheney sprayed Mr. Whittington with pellets”.”

No, that was proposed on another blog – that the wait was to see if a fall guy was needed. And it wouldn’t just be if the guy died. If the guy was severely injured, a fall guy would have been convenient. And if Mr. Whittington had been both severely injured *and* pissed off about it, so much more so.

27

winna 02.15.06 at 2:01 am

Apparently in this instance it’s not Bill Clinton who is at fault for the poor behavior of the Bush adminstration- it’s Ted Kennedy.

28

abb1 02.15.06 at 3:41 am

…it’s Ted Kennedy

Could’ve been Laura Bush as well. At least Kennedy was brought to court and pled guilty…

29

ajay 02.15.06 at 5:44 am

Historically, a colleague of mine has pointed out, serving vice-presidents tend to win their gunfights (Burr v Hamilton; Cheney v Whittington) while serving presidents tend to lose theirs (Lincoln v Booth; Kennedy v Oswald; Reagan v Hinckley).
Which brings an extra worry to being the man at the top: should his number two decide that he’s fed up waiting for his chance at office, the odds would be in favour of a, shall we say, ballistically induced regime change.

30

Brendan 02.15.06 at 5:57 am

I know this is slightly sad, but I think it’s funny.

From Juan Cole.

‘Top Ten Ways Iraq is like Harry Whittington

1. Cheney attacked secular Iraq, mistaking it for an ally of Usamah Bin Laden. Cheney attacked Harry Whittington, mistaking him for a small bird.

2. Iraq has been peppered with Cheney’s munitions. Whittington has been peppered with Cheney’s munitions.

3. Cheney did not have a legal license to hunt quail on the trip that saw Whittingon wounded. Cheney did not have a United Nations license to invade Iraq or reduce it to rubble.

4. Cheney tried to blame Iraq for getting itself invaded by not signalling hard enough that it really did not have weapons of mass destruction. Cheney tried to blame Whittington for getting himself shot by not signalling hard enough that he was not a small bird.

5. Cheney thought Iraq’s insurgency was in its last throes nearly a year ago. Cheney was deathly afraid that Whittington might be in his last throes.

6. Whittington thought Cheney as hunting partner would keep him secure. Iraqis thought that after the fall of Saddam, Cheney would make them secure.

7. Cheney gave Whittington a heart attack by shooting him in the heart. Cheney gave Iraqis a heart attack by having them bombed relentlessly.

8. Cheney tried to cover up how bad Whittington’s condition was after he shot him. Cheney tried to cover up how bad Iraq’s situation is after he had it invaded.

9. Cheney thought Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Cheney thought Whittington was a small bird.

10. Cheney shot Whittington while hunting in the dark. Cheney invaded Iraq while being in the dark.’

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